Someone was telling me today how they need to get out of their current life situation. I told them to do something to change it and they said "if only it were that easy." This interested me because, I didn't say it was easy to change things. It's like that quote we've all heard a million times: "nobody said it would be easy but they did say it would be worth it." And with that he responded that "i should have said it just isn't possible." I feel like all the work I'm putting into being here and getting good grades and being involved and accomplishing things...it's not just by default that I do it. I consciously choose to do these things, each and every one of them. I choose to get up and go to class (or not go sometimes) and I choose to allocate my time to different things or people. I know that what I'm doing is worth it because it's making a difference in my life and/or the lives of others.
Ironically enough, don't hold me to this because I could be wrong but I'm 99% sure the same person who just told me they needed to get out of life but it's impossible previously told me "tomorrow is no place to place your better days." It's like my note a few months ago about taking your own advice...maybe we all need to do that a little better, I know I do.
I find it hard to sympathize with those who have no drive to change their current life situation and just complain about it. It may just be my nature to say that it IS possible because that's the only way I'll ever get things done, is with motivation. However, some people just have little to no drive to do anything. Granted, if you're comfortable and have everything you need, then do what you're doing and love it. But if you're not in school, living with your parents, and are like me-in your twenties- you at least could set some goals for your future. Keep in mind I am by no means trying to "tell people what to do with their lives." I just can't help but wonder, if you're miserable now how will you not be even more miserable ten years from now? If you have a part time job and make just enough money that you can get what you need but aren't paying rent/for a house, a car, food, etc. then what are you going to do when you have to live on your own? Anyone, and I mean anyone, can go to school if they want to. Maybe not the most expensive school, but there are plenty of loans, grants, scholarships, etc. out there that really will make it possible to get a degree. Or, if school is just not your thing, then start a resume'. Map out your skills and experience and then put them to work! I have a friend who recently did something to change his life and I'm very proud of him. He took what he loved and found a way to make money from it while still enjoying. He is now even able to share that love with others. Sounds cheesy, yes. But it truly takes a lot of work and ambition.
I just saw another interesting quote in my friend's status:
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going." -Beverly Sills
I think this is very true. Granted, there may be ways of getting there faster but that doesn't mean you might not have to do more work to make that happen. A value I have been raised to possess and respect in others is hard work. Yes, it sounds cliche' but I truly have a greater respect for people who know when it's time to put in hard work to get something done. I also have a greater respect for myself when I accomplish something that I know I've worked hard on.
So back to my original quote: "we consider what we have not in terms of what we personally have but rather what we have in relation to what we perceive others as having"
This one caught my mind's eye for two reasons. The first being the one I just discussed, how do we get what we want? The second was the part about "what we perceive others as having." It's very true that we often judge what we have by what we believe others have. We want things others have and sometimes don't even know why. Sometimes in this we forget some of the things we may have that are worth so much. I'm not even necessarily talking about material things. We all possess values and traits that can benefit us and if we put those to good use we can get what we want out of life and be happy.
So, "be happy." What does that mean? Well here we go with the happiness quotes...
"Happiness is found in the absence of expectation and a continuous focus on appreciation" Tony Robbins
But over-used quotes aside, here's my equation for happiness.
The Equation for Happiness
The result of the outcome of an event divided by the expectations one had for that event equals the resulting happiness. Yes, I realize for most anything involving math can't result in happiness. But say one expects something to be wonderful, on a scale of one to ten, a ten. If said thing only turns out to be about an 8 on the "wonderful scale", then the person’s expectations are eighty percent fulfilled by the outcome. Some may look at this as a good eighty percent, a gain, a positive. However, others view it as lacking or a loss of twenty percent. How happy someone is with that eighty percent depends on the person. However, if a person expects something to be bad and it ends up being very good, then it is likely that the person would be happy as a result. Does this mean we should all adopt a negative outlook on life so we'll always be pleased? I'm doubtful that this would have any benefits at all really. Even in the case of surprises, people have a certain expectation or prediction about the time ahead of them. If happily surprised, the outcome has very much exceeded the expectations. Happiness can come in the form of material things, even simply money. But if you expect a certain amount of money or quality of an item, how close the actual amount or quality is will affect your happiness with it. Happiness can also be found in feelings or reactions. The way someone reacts to you or something you do will make you either happy or unhappy. This is because people have certain expectations about what kind of reactions or comments we deserve whether or not we realize it at the time. Thus..
Outcome
_______________ = HAPPINESS
Expectation
Therefore, it would stand to reason if we set high expectations for ourselves we can only be disappointed by a less than 100% outcome. However, if you're the kind of person who can look at life as cumulative and realize that all happiness adds like marbles in a vase in the fifth grade, then you will realize that setting high expectations causes you to reach for the highest outcome possible. Therefore, when you achieve the best you can, even with only 90% or even 70% happiness, you add that to the vase of happiness marbles and that's one more accomplishment you can step back and look at. And the "vase" is your overall happiness in life. Alright, so let's get really philosophical then. About halfway through life, is your vase half full or half empty of happiness?
NEITHER. Your vase is just twice as big as it needs to be. If the emptiness in your vase is bothering you, simply get a smaller vase. :) Again, if you're unhappy do something to change it.
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